HortenCIA! My parents were government agents
I really enjoy long nights watching reruns of "Mad About You." My favorite movie is "Top Gun." My favorite book is "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." I have been institutionalized once, that's where I met Crust-een-AH! I am thoroughly attracted to muscle cars, tatertots, mullets, handlebar mustaches, Cable TV,and boys (teens) who make me call them "Colonel." By the way I know the secret recipe... Call me: 1-800-NEW-HAIR.

Our BFFs
Catandog Wildwoman is a lovely imp who resides in the forest, resting on a bed of nails. She bakes (cow) pies, and often clips toenails for spare change. Her favorite foods include: raw meat, diseased dairy products, and small rodents. You may reach her at 1-800-NICE-TRY.
Oomalie MicQuoshtone is a beautiful young stallion who is so unaware of her charms. She uses deoderant on her feet, and likes touching Crust-een-ah.
Amu Burcoust is a vivacious redheaded whore with a glass eye and prosetic leg (and butt). She is a police officer in training.
Laurie KinCoot is a tempermental Irishwoman, also a bodacious babe. She enjoys tuba conciertos, playing the kazoo in her school's marching band, and having illicit sex. She has been rumoured to say "BJs are cool" and "Oh no you did NOT just touch my better nipple!"
KaeLy Robbertsaun is a pursuing a career in cosmetology. She styles my (armpit) hair. Her hobbies include visiting brothels, meditaion and gardening petunias.
Napoopie Mooran-Hineyshawl is a buddhist monk who hails from Mexico. She enjoys long walks in the grocery store (with frequent stops at the meat counter) and MAD TV.
Adirien Singasong is a crazy Mexican. She reeks of tacos and has no morals. Once she stole from a blind beggar with no legs. She is always looking for her "shoze" and never says "please" or eats with her mouth shut.

Have Sex With Me!

Why do I love you?
PANTIES